Why Celebrity Couples Fail: 3 Reasons for the Dysfunction

Currently the world is gripped by the bitter court battle between former husband and wife, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Whatever your opinion is concerning the case, I’m sure you would not disagree that it’s damn ugly.

Listening to the grim details of their marriage is a eye-watering experience indeed — from hurling vodka bottles, to defecating on bed sheets, the horror abounds — but while we listen in horror, revelling in the gritty details of their dysfunctional marriage, part of their story is remarkably mundane.

While their marriage may have been particularly gruesome, there are no shortages of dysfunctional celebrity marriages out there. Indeed, divorce rate among the rich and famous stands at around 40% within ten years, a good 10% higher than the average American couple, and 20% higher than the average British couple.

So why is it that failed celebrity marriages are quite so commonplace? Why is it that we simply roll our eyes when we discover yet another high profile break up, unsurprised by the broken unions?

There is no single reason for the phenomenon, the matter being highly nuanced and varying according to the couple, but there are some common factors that help account for such conjugal shortcomings. So, in the interest of explaining this odd reality, here are three reasons why celebrity marriages fail.

1- Abundance of Options

Let’s be clear here: celebrities are sexy.

They look great, they dress with style, and they have access to some of the best plastic surgeons on the planet. On top of that, celebrities have prestige, power, and money. And for many, especially women, there’s nothing sexier than that.

So why does this sexiness, this irresistible appeal that celebrities possess compromise their marriages?

Well quite simply, the rich and famous have a ton of dating options.

Many of us mere mortals would jump at the chance to date a high-profile celebrity, and many actively throw themselves at the feet of movie stars and pop idols alike.

For the celebrity, this sounds great. I mean, who wouldn’t want a sea of willing partners at their doorstep?

However, the problem with having so many potential mates is that temptation is everywhere. Everywhere the celebrity looks, there are hundreds of hyper-good looking potential partners, eager to court them. And with each willing suitor looming in the background, the challenge of staying faithful increases that bit more.

Conversely, us normies don’t have that many dating options. Most of us lack the money, looks, and glamour of the stars, so temptation doesn’t loom its ugly head at every corner.

Indeed, it is easy for average people to remain faithful to their partners in some respect, because there are few willing participants with whom to embark on an affair. For celebrities, it is a different story.

Furthermore, having thousands of willing partners means that the partner you select is somewhat disposable. After all, if things don’t work out between you both, there are thousands of others out there willing to trade places with them.

Abundance necessarily cheapens, and thus having an abundance of potential mates makes any given mate a little less valuable.

So not only do celebrity couples find themselves surrounded by a tempting array of alternatives, but their spouses are just another disposable mate from a sea of many.

2 — Lack of Humility

One of the key ingredients of any successful relationship is that old biblical virtue of humility. Humility is not the same as feeling unworthy or failing to recognise one’s talents, as many confusedly believe. Rather, humility is merely recognising that in spite of all that you may be, you are nevertheless just an imperfect human like everyone else.

Humility is the opposite of arrogance and the enemy of selfishness. It is the virtue that helps us to recognise our faults, and the virtue that keeps us grounded in reality. Humble people do suffer from inflated self-images, and understand that they are far from perfection. These qualities make humility key to relationship success.

Humble people understand that they are indeed rather difficult to live with. They are aware they have irritating habits, they know they are not always that delightful to be around, and they appreciate that they could be better. This makes humble people more open to constructive criticism, and renders them far easier to communicate with when negotiating a relationship than those with bigger egos.

Not only that, but humble people are also keenly aware that their partners are not completely blessed. They recognize that their partners have made a sacrifice to be with them, and they are eager to honour that sacrifice. They might know they can be grumpy in the mornings, that they often leave the house in a mess, and that they have a tendency of wasting money. And they appreciate the frustrations their partners shoulder in dealing with these less favourable quirks.

In summary, humble people are more open to compromise, and more than willing to own up to their uglier tendencies.

Unfortunately, humility is not exactly a virtue that comes naturally to celebrities. These rich, impossibly good-looking, talented people are used to being on the receiving end of gushing torrents of praise and inordinate levels of unsolicited affection.

The whole world, from fans, to critics, to journalists, is constantly telling them how wonderful, beautiful, and talented they are. So it’s no wonder they have trouble with humility.

After all, when every available metric, from the number in your bank account to the number of followers on your twitter, indicate the colossal extent of your magnificence, it can be a challenge to recognize that you are, essentially, just another flawed human being with just as many imperfections as anyone else.

Unfortunately, lacking this ancient virtue does not only make the bible bashers frown. An absence of humility can madden your partner, estrange your family, and ultimately, ruin your marriage.

3 — Unconventional Lifestyles

My final reason that accounts for the frequent breakdown of celebrity marriages is a little less obvious, and is perhaps a little more speculative.

Celebrities, almost by definition, are exceptional individuals. That is, they differ greatly in a variety of ways from regular people. And their lifestyles deviate greatly from those of ordinary people.

The life of the average celebrity is different from the life of the average person in many ways. Celebrities travel more, work irregular hours, live in different houses, and interact with different people. And the pressures and demands of the average celebrity are very different from those of a non-celebrity.

But while the celebrity lifestyle exists very much outside of convention, marriage is very much a part of it. Marriage is a tradition. It is a convention that has evolved in traditional settings to serve regular, traditional people. Since celebrities by their very nature are non-conventional, many don’t feel the same pressures to maintain the conventions of traditional marriage..

In addition, much of that which marriage seeks to ensure –financial security, and a stable home for kids, for example –don’t really apply to celebrity couples.

Financial security? Well most celebrities already have that one. They’re rich, after all.

A stable home for kids? Not possible. The lifestyles of the children of celebrities is inherently erratic. Such children must endure their parents being away for long stretches of time, and adapt to very irregular schedules, and marriage simply cannot change that.

So that’s my distinctly non-exhaustive list of reasons to explain why the likes of Amber and Johnny, Will and Jada, and Brad and Angelina may have experienced so much difficulty navigating conjugal life. Marriage and relationships are complex and difficult for anyone, and for the rich and famous, they come with their own unique set of challenges.